Quote:
Originally Posted by Fool Zero
One thing neither of you seems to have mentioned, is your part in creating that therapeutic relationship. I can pretty much guarantee that she couldn't have done it without you.  Do you suppose there's anything you got out of it that you could go on to bring to your other relationships, including maybe with another T someday? |
Foolzero,
Well, I am really, really hoping that the t relationship will help me learn both how to attach securely to people who are safe and healthy for me, and also to learn how to let go if and when it's necessary to say goodbye. The idea of loss is absolutely, entirerly terrifying for me. So at this point, i'm just trying to learn that it's safe and OK to attach to some people, and that they won't hurt you.
Lately, i've been starting to think about who i might want to have as friends, and if they would be a good match for me. I have a tendency to choose controlling, critical people as close friends, and then to idealize them and subjucate myself, hoping they will love me and feel protective toward me. I know now it's a "mother thing" i need to work through in therapy. But i'm trying this time to find friends who are more like peers, ones who i don't have to work so hard to have their love and acctance, and ones who love and accept me the way i am, instead of wanting to fix or reform me.