Feddy, thank you so much for your advice. It is sometimes really nice to hear that I am not the only one with relationship problems. I went and ate lunch with him today on his lunch break and we talked about why I freak out all the time at night. Partially its because usually I have a little alacohol in me by that time, but mainly I am just really lonely and crave interaction. Ha, sometimes I feel like my two year old, throwing a fit just in order to be noticed, although its negative attention, it is attention still.

I am mad at myslef for destroying so many good things I had going for me during our break up this summer. I have no friends and little respect left for myself. It it hadnt been for him, I am not sure where I would be right now.. He really came in, scooped up my broken pieces and is trying his best to glue them back together.

I think part of my anger is that I for the first time in my life am unable to take care of myslef. I absolutly despise asking for help and to be relying soley on him to provide for me is a really hard pill to swollow.