I don't want to be a brat, but I feel like you might be caught up in a vicious cycle and now you can't see which way is up. I think you have gotten yourself to think of everything he says in a negative manner when I don't think that is always the case. For instance, the whole telling you that there isn't any traffic coming from his side of the car might be him just trying to be helpful. I'm sure he knows you are very capable of seeing for yourself and that you know to look both ways, but maybe he thinks by telling you there's no traffic he's helping you. Also, I understand not wanting to be held in the morning, especially if you're already having trouble with your partner. But I can also see why he got upset. Granted, it shouldn't have turned into a huge fight, but I can see why it did. Basically, what I"m trying to say is that you're expecting him to be mean to you so whatever he says, mean or not, sounds mean to you and you react to it as if it is. And perhaps he's already expecting that response from you so he fits his side of the conversation to fit your reactions.

I'm not saying that he isn't being overly critical or that this is entirely in your head, because that is simply not the case. Many of the other things you mentioned sound as if he is being overly critical and that you both would probably do well with some couple therapy, or even individual therapy. At the very least, therapy might help you two get out of this cycle and start to get back to the reasons you guys got together in the first place and the reasons you are still together now. I actually really like the idea of tape recording during a fight. It would give you both some perspective and maybe a starting point to start working on yourselves.

Let us know how therapy goes! And I really hope I didn't offend you, just wanted to give you another point of view.

Good luck!!