SJ, I feel your pain, bigtime. I feel the same way about myself.

The only thing that has helped me lately are:
1) I asked my husband if he would set up my lunch and snacks for the day. I will not eat anything that he doesn't set up for me. I thought of this because I recently put my cats on a diet and got them to lose about 25% of their body weight over 8 months. The only reason it worked is because they weren't in control of their portions -- I was. So, I figured that if he controls MY portions, I might lose some weight.
2) a friend and I are struggling with the same problem, and we now go for weekly or semi-weekly walks, even if it's dark. We usually go for about 2 hours.

I know how you're feeling SJ -- I'm pretty disgusted with myself, too. But, I do know that it's achievable. I've lost weight in the past and I know I can do it again.

Accountability goes a long way for me. My vote for you is to suck it up and talk to your T, asking him/her to help you set some baby steps.