I've fallen into that unemotional, unaffected, dull, lifeless mind state again. Done with sadness, but unable to reach real happiness. I don't know if I should welcome this, for I don't necessarily feel alive, or if I should shun it for that same reason. My sleeping pattern has messed up again, my idle thoughts are filled with those people who I shouldn't think about anymore, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm cursed and everything that loves me will eventually hate me and there isn't anything I can do to prevent it.