bridger, welcome to pc. i hope you will find some solace here. it is a very supportive community. i am sorry you never knew isis. but i think she would want you to live your life fully even though you were not able to know her. i understand your loss. it is like something you cannot resolve in your heart. i wish you well. know we are here for you. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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