Thanks for the responses.

It's just become difficult for me to discern what is real. And that scares me.

My mom would tell me one thing then swear she never said that.

I would tell her something but she would later deny knowing anything about it. But after she swears she never knew, she says that she was doing everything to protect me? Protect me from what--if she didn't know?

I don't even know anymore. I was too young at the time to have a clear idea of what was going on, anyway. I could only see what happened and not understand why. But now I'm not sure if what I thought I knew was even real. It's like I was sitting on a merry-go-round and someone came up and gave it a good push; the world is spinning out of control. I'm so disoriented. Everything is in a simultaneous state of being true and not true. Is that even possible? And what's more, is it even possible to separate the two? I don't know anything anymore.