wishfulthinker, are there positive things about your relationship with your boyfriend that are keeping you in the relationship? From all you wrote, I'm not sure why you are with him. I was with a man once who only occasionally wanted sex and then only if he initiated it. We did talk about it and he said he just didn't want it more frequently, that he was satisfied with having it only rarely. So basically, he just had a low sex drive. I tried to adjust but always felt unwanted and unloved, plus sexually wanting. I think if he had been a very loving man, that might have helped make up for his low sex drive, but he wasn't loving either. In retrospect, I wish I had not spent so many years of my life with him. It was painful. It is really good to figure all of this out before you have been with a guy too long, so it is really good you are thinking about all of this now, wishfulthinking.