Thanks, jillie. I have to say something, though. I didn't put a trigger on this thread because it's not about abuse, at least nothing that I am aware of. I have a lot of shame but I don't know why I am making such a big deal about it. I just know that I have to. Maybe things happened that I don't know about, or maybe I was so sensitive that "growing up" was just incredibly difficult for me.

I don't want people here to think I'm talking about something I'm not. I feel guilty sometimes for posting about my past because I didn't go through the things that others have. I have so much respect for those of you who are survivors and are so brave in your therapy. So many of you are role models to me. I have smaller battles but I struggle with them too.