Hello to those who answer this,

I had a really nasty jolt today and I wanted to know if my reaction is normal, usual, possible or warranted.

I have someone within named Megan. she does get out at times. She isn't nice, she is mean, vindictive, very scary; she shares her thoughts with others but won't let them hear her regular thoughts if you know what I mean? She will think things to us but it's all one way; only the thoughts she wants us to hear. She makes me run (if you understand what that means?).

Today I was reading my email list and five times the name MEGAN was written on five seperate lines (in 5 seperate emails).

I just froze, literally could not move. I cried and wanted to run but there was only inside to go, and I've just come out of there. I didn't know what to do and I felt utterly panic stricken. I looked in all directions for an escape and had to put the puter down and leave the room until I was more composed and able to return and delete the messages (I couldn't even read them).

Does this mean that it's time to deal with that part? Because I don't think I'm ready and blissfully she has been sleeping inside since I was put on heavier medication.

This really did throw me, but I didn't really run too far before I was able to come back and in some way deal with what I felt confronted by. So I am stronger than I was a couple of weeks ago. Though I suppose deleting the messages wasn't that brave was it?