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Originally Posted by treehouse
I've never had anyone take care of me before T, so I wouldn't have had any idea where to start taking care of myself before.
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Tree, it helps to know you've gone through the same thing. I'm always so prone to thinking I'm a freak! But I like your idea that T has been modeling for me how to care for myself. I know that the end goal is for me to do it. Maybe I'm scared of that because I'm afraid it will be like when I was a kid and had to take care of myself and nobody stepped in to help stop the abuse even when I asked for help. But maybe it can be different now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Muffin
i just want to suggest that there is the possibility that that both you AND your therapist can be there for you, support you and comfort you. why does it have to be one or the other? just because you learn to self-soothe doesnt mean that no one else in the world will ever soothe you again....thats not the way it works. maybe if you can make room for that idea, your anger may subside a bit?
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Yeah, both/and not either/or. I think I fall back into the all or nothing because that's how it USED to be. It's hard to figure out how to do things differently after so many years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Skeksi, can you also tie this into the past where you weren't comforted? It sounds like you are being triggered and to stop triggering you have to find the source of the trigger and work on it.
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Good point, Sannah. I have been getting triggered like crazy by so much. T encourages me to reach out to him but also to reassure myself, which--as you say--is another trigger.
I didn't realize until writing this that it was bringing up so much kid stuff about taking care of myself. That's something big to take in to T. Thanks, guys, for your tremendous insight
