beat  you will be in my thoughts and prayers. you said you are praying....the answer will come. i know what you are enduring is sapping your strength. i agree with others the focus should be on you and the children. he can only help himself and right now he chooses to not do that. i'd suggest you try to talk to him but that hasn't given you hope in the past. could you write him a letter and share your thoughts and concerns? perhaps he would read it and think about what you say and feel. meanwhile i'll be praying too for your family.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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