i got a simple paper cut today and felt strange - not angry, not excited, but cool to see it.
3x sleeping tabs with wine is my form of SI - i feel better too. but I'm so tempted to cut. Never bfore have I had these urges, but it almost seems like a physical release of the mental pain.
I'm sorry you're in this boat; please rather go to sleep, lock yourself up without meds, or get your husband to give you a sleeping tab and remember to stay safe - you are an inspiration to me - if nothing else, please keep it together for my sake, else I'm going off the edge...
(((HUGS))))