Hi Seventyeight - thank you for asking.

I sent my T an email yesterday and I called her last night and left a message for her to call me. She called me back late last night. She figured I would be up late as she remembered i told her that I spend time in chat late at night (on PC of course). She said somethings that i 'get' but didn't want to hear. Right now I just need to honor/process this deep sadness I feel. I never allow my self to get here and I think throught T's help I've been able to give myself that freedom to feel the emotion I'm always denying. My T said that if I'm not feeling better in a couple of days for me to call her. I was experiencing some SI on my way home from my appt yesterday as the pain was so intense (not something I have shared with T at this point - It won't do anything but worry her).

This morning I shared with my husband what is going on and I feel supported even thought he can't offer much 'help' in a way.
I'm feeling sad but a little less alone thanks to ((everyone)) and thank you ((seventyeight)).