Thank you trixielou

It's nice to know that you can understand my perspective on parenting and marriage ~ but sad that you have struggled with similar emotions. Unfortunately, those highs and lows have continued with my girls too. Thank goodness for the highs!! I try to remind myself of them when we're having an "off" day.

And, believe me, those days will always be there. Throwing salt into the wound is my guilt. My own values that I'm the mommy. I'm supposed to be with one with primary custody of the girls. When people find out that I'm single, and have kids, they automatically become sympathetic & talk about how difficult it is to be a single mom. I assume that they have a mental image of "woe is me" kind of mommy ~ "she (me)has all of these responsibilities and (I) has to find work...how and why?!" The guilt that I feel becomes tormenting! The sad fact is that I can't be the primary provider, despite my beliefs and desires. The evil and demented side of myself likes to remind me of the way things could have been.

Hope that you don't let that evil side get too far into your mind. Talking myself out of that perspective isn't easy at all. You're welcome to PM me if you're looking for a shoulder or perspective some time. Best wishes and gentle hugs to you trixielou!