Quote:
Originally Posted by AAAAA
(((Lynn))) I'm so sorry that you all had to go through this.
The world is a complicated place these days. In my day this behavior would have been called playing doctor. These days we worry whether or not the girl has been sexually abused.
I think you did absolutely the right thing contacting the school. As parents I think we are too close to the situation to make an objective judgement. The school could also be privy to information you do not have and this could have been information they needed to convince them that something needed to be done. In any event they are the professionals and this happened on school property.
As to the invitation to the party, other than the obvious, they may have been trying to avoid an awkward situation. Assuming the best case senerio (girl discovered that touching herself felt good and has yet to learn boundaries) inviting her to a party could have been viewed as them dismissing it entirely. More likely they would rather pretend that this whole thing never happened; you and your family are a reminder of something that embarrassed them and they are reacting in a very human fashion, lashing out.
We do very stupid things as humans, it is so much easier to see the fault in others and ignore our own. I feel sorry for them. Instead of taking a very common and natural experience, using it to teach their daughter boundaries, and moving on. They've decided to take the path of least resistance and taught their daughter a very different lesson.
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When this 1st happened I just wanted to inform the school so the principle could sort this out with the girls. I didn't want to assume this was the worst case scenario - I even thought it may have been an accident. I know that some kids engage in the quote 'doctor playing'. I considered it solved. I could even tolerate the excluding form the birthday party - I agree it was awkward and we would have declined.
What made it worse was the girl telling my child that I'm a liar. At that point when I went to their house, I basically knew it wouldn't be pretty - I was upset. I think the lesson in all this for me - we the parents should have been satisfied with this being solved by the school. This situation was a mole hill made into a mountain. Even if she was intentionally doing this - I wasn't out for blood or to hold a grudge. I wish it never happened.