I know that I do this to myself and I don't know why. My sister pointed it out to me the other day because her husband is just an angry person and is verbally/emotionally abusive towards her and she thinks that subconsciously she got herself "stuck" by having kids with him because she was too afraid to leave. I feel like I'm doing the same thing to myself.

I just took a quiz which went through about 50 questions about my relationship and according to it and another source I found by the FBI investigating abusers, I am in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Things I answered yes to were: embarrassing me in public, acting one way around friends and another way at home, using name-calling or mocking, playing the victim during an argument etc...

How have I been convincing myself that this isn't abuse for the last 2 years? How did I let him move down here with me? Even before we left I told him I didn't want him to come with me and somehow he weaseled his way back in.

One day he will apologize and the next day acts like he doesn't feel bad about it anymore. Says things like "now that you're financially set it's okay for you to get rid of me" like I'm USING him. (P.S. He was the unemployed one while I supported both of us but I guess he forgot about those 4 months).

He has actually left me in a store before. I was walking around for 20 minutes looking for him and when I called he was in the car. But then after the fact, he claims he never did those things. He will say something mean, then 20 seconds later claim he never said it. He called me dumb the other day then said he never said that.

Why do I get myself into these situations?! And because I'm so neurotic I can't focus on getting out, I keep back-tracking to "what will he do when I leave?" or "he moved down here for me, I can't leave him". But then I realize he rubs that in my face all the time. "I moved down here for you" or "If I didn't love you I wouldn't have spent everything I had to move here with you". Like he's reminding me "hey, if you're thinking about leaving, just remember how much i did for YOU!"

Our lease isn't up for another 6 months. WTF am I supposed to do? I don't want to live with him for 6 months after breaking up and having him just be angry and mean to me all the time but it's so hard keeping on this smile just waiting for my opportunity to leave. This is making me feel like a total jerk. And the worst part is I LOVE his family and friends.

Honestly, I feel like I know I should leave and the only reason I want to go to a T about it is because I NEED someone to tell me what I'm doing is not wrong. That way I have some back up. So when he goes to make me feel guilty I have the T, a professional, who said this would happen etc... I just hate myself right now.

P.S. you guys have been through this 3 times with me now so thanks everyone for your support and listening. I promise I will stop doing this to you one day!