I have read some of Green's postings and I can empathize with her. I must point out that the emotions she is feeling are those of a child's. Think about it, a 3 yr old in a playground walks up to another 3 yr old whome they've never met, offers their toy to them to get them interested in playing together. The 2nd child stares for a moment and then slaps the offered toy away, sticks his tongue out, or goes to smack child #1, and then stomps off. So what does #1 do? Gets hurt feelings of course. Rejection, pain, overwhelms him. There must be something wrong with me and so the pain is turned inward. When this happens to a child often enough in that criticle time, specially with a parent, the rejected child begins to lash out before anyone can hurt them, and so the reaction they get after being horrible with their subject proves to them they are not ok and don't deserve anything better. This is how I see GreenL. You have pain but you don't know where it is. You want to make the pain real and justify why people don't like you so you can retain the familiar feelings that are near and dear to your heart. I'm not saying you like them, what I'm saying is that these feelings are the only things that you can accept as 'real'.