I'm going to have to bring this up with my T tomorrow.......

I'm having elbow surgery Friday. When the surgeon described it to me, he said it would be about a 3-inch incision on the left side from the bend of my elbow downward.

As it's approached, I have been mulling the irony of having a scar on my arm that I didn't put there.

I don't really know how I feel about that, or why it makes me feel weird, kind of -- like somebody else is getting a piece of MY way of feeling better -- like I don't want to share. It's MY arm, and those are MY scars, and *I* made them, and who the hell are you to come along and make one for me? You're getting a piece of me I don't want you to have, don't want ANYBODY to have.

The weird thing is, I am having this done so the pain will stop. That's why I cut, too. My emotional pain interferes with my life as much as this physical pain interferes with my ability to do my job. I have been in constant pain since February, I can't wait for it to be over with, but at the same time, I don't want to lose any more of myself to other people than I already have.

Does this make ANY sense?

Candy