my partner is having a hard time. she just spent some time with her mom recently, and they are pretty close - there's just a lot they don't talk about from the past. no one wanted to believe my partner when she started talking about what was happening to her as a child. she was treated like she made the whole thing up and was hurting everyone in the family and being super destructive to herself and the world around her. there was a lot of pain to deal with. loneliness. fear. not knowing if she would ever get help because she was only punished for telling about her experiences or the hurt that kept haunting her through flashbacks and switching and general anxiety and depression. i can't even imagine how she got through and is here with me now, but she still hurts. she no longer has a relationship with her sister because of all that. i'm sure both her parents preferred to say nothing happened. dad would never admit it. mom didn't want to face it. and her sister was just told that it was all lies too. none of that is fair or helpful to my partner. she needed help. and still needs support. it was not a lie!
well despite all the hardships, my partner is still close with her mom. when she was just spending some time with her mom a few days ago, she decided to bring up something about her past that is still hurting her - from being in one of the institutions she had been sent to as a teen. it really messed with her. they kinda destroyed part of her spirit there. and some of what she's struggling with now has to do with that situation. well, when mentioning something about that very carefully to her mom, she got a disturbing response. something about how nowadays they have different ways to deal with false memories.... so her mom still believes that it was all made up? that is SO hurtful and scary. my partner is really struggling. i'm not sure what i can do other than to be here for her and to listen to her. she can tell me, and i will always listen and be here to hold her. but it is so hard to have this weight on her shoulders. it's not fair! just because this is hard for her mom too, it doesn't mean she can just chalk it up to - it didn't happen, it's a lie and my daughter is just hurting for some other reason. that's not true. the truth is hard... but denying the truth is so painful for my partner. she shouldn't be forced to deny the truth just because her mom is scared of actually listening. it makes me so sad. it's not fair at all. the truth is hard, i know. but lying about the past isn't gonna create a proper healing path for the future. i wish there was more i could do to help my partner and her mom. their relationship is complicated.
please send some loving, supportive energy to my partner if you can. she really needs it right now.
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