Up and down or just Blah...meh...?

I guess I could say its a stable place to be but I have reason to be excited/happy and I am just not.

I am going on my first overseas trip... I should be excited.. I should be happy..

I am doing something totally out of my comfort zone.. trying to find who I am/what I want in life and still no emotions related to the trip.. still all just ex BF crap going through my head..