Would it be completely out of the question for you to have a heart-to-heart with him and ask his advice? Explain that you spend HOURS each night with her but if she's not taking notes or paying attention, you don't know what else you can do?

I know he's a, ahem, mean man, but sometimes people respond better when you ask them for help and advice than when you dig in your heels and remain sullen. I know that you anticipate him reigning superior if you were to ask... but maybe that's something you could talk to your T about? Seeing if there is a way to reengage the mean man as a team member instead of as the enemy?