I also went on Lithium coz of the suicide thing... made things lots better It's the reason I stay on it despite the weight gain
Also I think you Lamotrigine is too low.... I know it has to get increased slowly but this is a bit ridiculous...
It's a weird sort of relationship with T's, we tell them our darkest, deepest secrets, we struggle together through some hard journeys but there is still a distance due to the professional nature of the relationship... it is hard...