I cant sleep...I split in front of son...husband keeps changing mind about getting camper so I can go.He is trying to out wait me ...thinking my memory will fade everything.And is still ...doing stuff I don't like.He just wants to keep me here.Says now...'this weekend' we will see.Still waking me.I am having nightmares.The meds' won't help me sleep.Eating more at times but am 118 lbs. anyways.I still hear angel across the street and miss Bella so bad.I want to be normal again.I want to love a good person.I love him who he was.I don't know how this all became so realized when b4 I was so numb to it.I am confused.I miss my friend.I miss my mum.I want to brush her hair and play with the rings on her lil fingers.I want to be whole and good and loved.I am lonelier than ....huh...others are lonely too.I dunno ...on a rant cause I am tired .I feel so alone.I want to be useful and help people.Ugh I shut up now.I dunno why I am doing this .I feel all nekked naow.lol....~~~WO.olf