Thunderbear, there are somepeople who just seem to live to create prejudice. They seem to suck new ones out of the air as soon as old ones get uninteresting. There was one kid at school who had an ethnic slur for every nation that walked the planet, I kid you not. They seem to think it gives them energy. I'm so sorry that the ones who are involved were family. That really hurts. My mom has gotten really bad over the yeras, as she has felt more vulnerable. I have had to tell her to knock it off around my kids lately and make a concious effort to not talk about the international situation, etc. The lady projects in a way that makes Dolly Parton look flat.
I lately had to remind her that the same stuff she was saying about recent immigrants was exactly the same that people were saying about the Irish not so long ago. I was not too popular for a bit in the kitchen
In the end, I don't expect to change such folks. It just gets to the point of how long my self respect can put up with them. some calm down when they realize they don't get a rise, others just keep spewing. Them, I try my best to avoid, or other wise remove from my vicinity
Or me from theirs. HUGGGGSSSSS. Sometimes you got to pick your fights, dear.