sounds you are dealing with a whole lot, but really putting in even more effort in keeping sight of your illness and its effects on your thought patterns, as well as important practices to keep in mind in your therapy and treatment, so well done.
you appear to be very self aware. that's more than most 'normal' people can ever claim.
i guess all i can tell you is that you are on the right track. and much more so than any 'normal' joe.... you obviously have a lot of pain and hardship to dig through to get there (and by 'there' i guess i mean the goal of winning over this early learned response system that isn't working for you).
so keep it up and hang in there. you are most defiantly thinking in the right direction and you phrased it more perfectly than i ever could: '..healthy decisions, asking for help,.. being mindful.' Yes indeed! Absolutely right!!!
my best to you and your therapy,
clearerview