Why does it get like this?
sitting. curled in a ball. trembling. sad. because i percieve that a boy has just told me that he doesnt want to see me again unless it is between his legs.

i slept with him yesterday. after dating for a few weeks.

and today recieved a text. the jist of which said that he didnt want to see me again save for for the physical pleasures.

now i have the thoughts saying "stupid, useless, failure, retard,exposing self to STIs" seeking out the shortcomings. Its not right.

nor is my behaviour clearly.
but i like intimacy and crave it.
and may have confused sex with intimacy
i hate it. it hurts. it feeds the anxiety.

:'(