Why indeed? I don't think there's any logical and sensible answer for this question. You are perfectly free to do whatever you'd like to do and when you know something is bad for you, you shouldn't do it! Simple as that! There are nasty thoughts? Fight them! Distract yourself using any means possible. If you don't want to watch TV, then get yourself a punchbag (or even a pillow!) and punch, do some physical exercise (trust me, it helps) throw darts, etc. etc. etc. There are a million methods of distraction most of which you haven't tried. Nothing is ever going to get better if you rely one hundred percent on your 'T'