I think in everyone's therapy (sorry for the generalization) that there is a stage of emotional dumping and venting. An outlet for all the pent up bad in us.

However, it is essential that therapy eventually move beyond that emotional dumping into emotional understanding and change.

IMHO if a T allows a client to stay stuck in emotional dumping then that is malpractice.

Now, having said that, it sounds as though your T is trying to get you out of the emotional venting phase and into the emotional understanding tolerance phase. Also, IMHO she is failing miserably in her approach.

This is obvious given your distress.

Has she introduced or facillitated your acquisition of skills to deal with suicidal thoughts or the badness that may come to light causing those thoughts?

Have you discussed specific support systems outside of therapy that may prove just as beneficial in the long run as your interaction with her?

Do you feel as though you are ready for the next stage of therapy no matter how badly it has been handled, or is there something else you need to say - something that is lurking but hasn't been articulated. Something big?

I think these are all questions that you need to ask yourself and your T before the "pills lined up " approach should be fully implemented.

Until then, take care of yourself. Try to "sit" with the feelings as much as you can, and use distraction and positive imagery (those worked for me).

Keep us posted.