In reading your posts, bitterdregs, I was very much thinking the same thing as blueoctober about Borderline. Also, I noticed in your posts that there was no mention of her behavior being connected with either depressive episodes or hypomanic/manic episodes**. That cyclical and connected factor is one of the very biggest indicators for BP. Also, rage is not diagnostic for BP. Neither is lying. These cover a number of the problematic behaviors you describe. It sounds like her behavior is pretty consistent (though as you note it is seeming worse) as the way she operates all the time. You said, "She's always had the same behavioral traits..." Borderline is one's way of interacting with the world around them...(maladaptive though it may be...) which, to me anyway, is pretty well the definition of behavioral traits. I'm not so sure that the BP is a given (and if I may be so bold, I'm not reading much evidence of BP here -- I definitely don't mean that to be harsh, just a striking observation). If she only saw a "shrink" for a short time, a quick judgement might have been made. It's been known to happen. (If one just looked at "mood swings", this could easily happen and why people sometimes confuse BP and BPD. There's quite a bit more to both.) Also found curious your descriptions of "staging things" and "destroying other people's characters" (like idealizing someone then suddenly devaluing them??) Right here on Psych Central there is an article that you will likely find very interesting.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/sym...lity-disorder/

Lonegael brought up something important too -- a lot of these behaviors occur with substance abuse too, so that'd be worth looking into as well.

Hope I didn't come off as too ... something. We can't diagnose (obviously), but in reading your posts, they just sound so descriptive of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), that I can't help noting it. If in any way this can help steer you in a direction that might help...

You've been in a very difficult position and my heart goes out to you.

**(When you used the word "episode" it struck me in sense of having rages.... forgive me if I misread this.).