i know, but i dont feel like i should start up anything again. i dont want to. and im at peace right now with how things are. he did say yesterday that if rachel left him just then he WOULD try to get me back though he was confident that she would never leave him. I know how he is, and I know who he is even more now that this has all happened. he's not someone who i would get mixed up with romantically again. it was a hard month and it would be all for waste if i did.

i feel i have more confidence in myself to say no, im not to feel guilted by his words if he were to ever try to get me back and my resistance made him sad. he made me sad by this, and even though im not one to hold grudges, i wont forget what he did, and how selfish he is acting even now.