he did! i really dislike sometimes, how i think i can be alright with something. how i can forgive someone so easily, wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt. I went straight back to my old mentality when he said they had broken up. I viewed him as the victim and played rescue. after everything i should have known he didn't deserve to be rescued at all!

it kind of sucks though, to realize that someone who has hurt you doesn't care that they did. they know full well what they did and what they were doing, but that doesn't matter. when i got mad i started firing off a lot of words i hoped would hurt him, but he just retaliated, and said words she used to as well, which got me even more angry.

I just hate how he is. he responds to me like he misses me and says that im his friend, but when it comes down to it right away he'll snap up and call me an emo fag and say "ooh rachel treats me better than you ever did" and "i'm happier than i ever was with youu", "why do you always doubt everythingg" "why do you always act like EEVVERYYONNE is out to get you, you're not that important", blah blah blah. it's not that these words hurt, it's that they make me angry, and i feel helpless cause i know everything i could say back would bounce off him cause he has rachel and when in a relationship he is invincible to everyone BUT the girl he's with.

feeling helpless is my most hated emotion.