(((((Lacelly))))) Just letting you know you are heard and seen. And I hope the church retreat is going ok for you. Those were murder for me when I was a teen as I didn't believe the same way. Uggggg. So I hope you are safe right now.

Is there something you like to do like music or art or dance? It sounds like you have a lot of stuff on the inside that is just being burried deeper and deeper in what others expect from you. Sometimes all we hear is "DO THIS! DO THAT!" and it keeps us from having the silence we need to hear our own hearts.