When I went through I did not really know I have achieved a lot and am looked upon as posessing knowledge and insight. Life has given me a lot of good experiences worth remembering. The dark periods have been dark and exhausting, but I have coped reasonably well and gained some insight.
Last spring I started on Lamictal, but feeling good at 100mg/day, I stayed on that - do not want too much medicine.
Now I am increasing the dose, hoping to stabilize.. I am a stubborn drug-sceptic.