Hello All,

I really don't know how to approach this situation and was wondering if anyone out there has any advice.
The man I'm in love with (madly) is showing strange behavior when it comes to intimacy and physical closeness. He is 30 years old.
I know most of you think he's probably asexual or impotent...that might also be the case but there are little clues he leaves around which indicate that "something" strange, weird and scary happened to him in recent history. He won't open up.
I've tried and tried to get closer to him and to get him open up about what's wrong. I've never seen anyone with walls this high.
I can see him struggle with allowing me to be physically close to him. I can feel him getting scared when I lean in to simply hug him. He's fighting off intimacy and has expressed lack of trust in people. Some days are worse than others. Some days he's ok and I feel loved by him then, but there are other days where you can just see him sinking in depression and that's when he treats me like I'm a total stranger just out to get him!! Scary.

He has cut off all his friends (all of them have noticed a sharp shift in his behavior) and spends most of his time (probably all) inside his home, completely alone. So isolated! He plants his face only in work and has been following almost religiously martial art training and reads numerous self-improvement books and stuff about finding inner peace.
I know that he's trying to "fix" this, he's also visiting a therapist....but....what can I do about this? I was trying again to fish something out of him last night and the only info that slipped was "what happened to me, happened just once and it will never happen again!".

How can I help with this? I love him so much that it makes me scream inside with pain because I don't know how to help him and I really want to!!! I love him so much. I keep reminding him of how much I love him and of how he could trust me and tell me anything he wants.
Anybody out there know how to go about this? Should I just confront him with the question "Where you ever sexually assaulted?"....or would that question be too hurtful for him?
I love him so much, you have no idea.
Thank you for your time.