I am bipolar too widgets. I understand what you are saying. The thing is if we had diabetes or a heart problem would we feel we were weak because of it? Actually I think of myself as a strong person. I have had to be strong to get through stuff that has happened to me. You can't control what others think of you. As time went on things got better for me and I hope you have the same experience. I have worked all of my life and went to college and have excelled at it so life is what you make of it. You are far more than this disorder. I have found that most people really don't know how to help or what to say. Mental illness has such a stigma and you are right people judge us so I am very careful who I share it with. That may not be the healthiest way to handle it but I don't want people analyzing me over emotions that they have too. We will never be perfectly balanced but really who is? The bible says that David was a man after God's own heart and he was as bipolar as it gets so if David was okay with God then I must be okay too! God's opinion of me is far more important for me than any other. My prayer for you is that you enjoy your youth and attain the goals you have set for your life!