I had a good few days and even today is good...or was but yesterday..was like so so....but on my way to the car I found myself ...almost like a fast thought not like it was mine but it was....but ..just suddenly thinking on how I am/was gonna commit suicide...I had no clue I was planning it...I sorta blew it out of my mind but it was too odd...So maybe I do need to see T..yet I think of it as maybe a luxury to see T...make sense?

Whats with the thoughts?