Hi jlfd12. I understand what you are going through. I have been there too. God was very real to me and sustained me and my family through the worst of times. You have reached out for help here, but have you reached out for help through a church or food pantry or anything where you are? There are private organizations who may be able to help you if you contact them. Churches are the best place to start. Ask to meet with a pastor. Tell him or her about your journey, your struggles, and your needs. They may not be able to help you through their church but they may be able to put you in touch with those who can help you.
Blessings and best wishes to you.
Kevin