SI'ing is our own way of coping with what we are dealing with, and at times it keeps us from ending our lives. I've been in that position and now that I have finally stoped SI'ing I am glad that I did it at the time instead of taking my life. I think that you can get through this just as I did, and although you should try to stop since it's better for you, don't get mad at yourself each time you fail and you do it again. Just tell yourself that the next time you will go longer until finally you stop completely.