Have a sit. Church will come and go, but if you need to rest, rest. You don't need to explain yourself, dear. You don't need to apologize if noone was hurt. Your things are your things, your life is your life, and you don''t have to let other people mess with it if you don't think they should. Only when and if you think it's OK. Just like you don't have to listen to anyone's excuses. Just sit now. You are good enough just as you are, dear, just breathing now. I think it's wonderful that you are here, and writing, and alive, even though you don't feel so well right now. I hope it does get better. HUGGGGGSSSSSSSS.