deepest heart felt thanks to you all.
Wolfsong, as Muser says - you wrote beautifully and its how I feel. It also reminded me of a childhood book, The Secret Garden, think I will have to track down a copy and read it again.
Madi - thank you.

I does mean a great deal to know that everyone here cares.

I have just woken up after 11 hours of sleep - hiding perhaps? I am not sure but i feel better for it.

Just a another bump in the road? I hope so. I can't believe that a year has passed and not so long has passed after Louis. I am a strong person and have overcome much in my life. I can do this, just the memories haunt me during the day and also when I sleep. Dreams that feel so alive and real.

Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks xxx