I've been through hell off drugs and I know how stupid it is, but as soon as I start getting even the slightest bit depressed I want to quit meds.... crazy I know... my T says its self sabotage because I don't respect myself.
Like blueoctober my pdoc lets me change some meds when my mood changes so this has made it easier to resist the urge to stop, and rather increase the a/ds to make things better...