saw a tv story about neglect and has just left me so sad and upset. just reminds me that i was emotionally neglected. reminds me that i HATE the mother so much for all the social and attachment problems i have today. just reminds me how defective i am in basic people stuff. its like every time i get a reminder like this its like i have to grieve what i never got all over again. and i hate it so much because its so hard to say this is what she did wrong this is what she did to me. because its all about what she DIDN'T do and its so hard for me to know because i don't know what was missing. just a big vague empty hole.