I am very weak today. I hate the Holidays but I want everyone around me to enjoy theirs so I am pretending to not feel any type of bad feelings.
I internalize everything. And, I can so easily store things away in a little pocket and completely ignore my major issues.
I guess I am just fooling myself somehow.
I don't want to disappoint my wife or my T. And , I don't want to be constantly worried about so I am trying to show them I can handle things better.
But, I cannot say it is truth that I am not wishing to be dead.
I am just an ugly, ugly little girl who has a lost soul and a burdened heart that is shattered in so many pieces that it has been declared dead!