Hi. I would like to share what has happened to my thought process since my brother's suicide in January. He was the last person I would think of to do such a thing.

I suffer from deep depression with intermittant suicidal ideation. I have never gone over the edge...but since my brothers' death..I do have these dreadful thoughts...and they, now, are hitting me with more frequency. I think of him often, wish he had found another way out. Just the thought or mention of S. I. to a depressed person can set off terrible triggers. The mood goes lower and the thoughts become more intense.

We must be so careful about talking about the S word here. I have been battling serious depression all day. Most days are tolerable. I realize it runs in my family..but I refuse to "self-medicate", meaning drinking, drugs, whatever. I won't do what just about every member of my family has done to fight this horrendous and Painful problem, that is drink and drug. No matter how hard it gets. My brother chose illegal drugs (bought over the internet)That only facilitated his demise..and it really brought him no lasting relief.

I hope this post does not offend anyone or trigger anyone. My intention is to bring to light just how triggering any kind of reference to S can be to some folks.

For all those who suffer from this vicious monster..I say..take good care..and remember..tomorrow really can be a better day!