hi, dino,
thanks for your post. it's time to start filling in that hole you're talking about. fill it will self-love and supportive, understanding friends. fill it with knowledge and skills to overcome the social problems. fill it with mental toughness and a desire to learn, grow and change regardless of how slowly and painful it is. fill it with determination and kindness for yourself. fill it with understanding of yourself and your problems and have compassion for yourself and others. fill it with your goal of rebuilding your life and the freedom that you can improve things. very best to you!