<font color="darkblue">T says I need more time to recover. I, of course, feel like I will never recover..have I yet? T says I need quiet... and cold to help calm my overwhelmed nerves (literally nerves not "emotional" nerves) The rest of the world keeps trying to drag me into it.. I can't see how everyone is carrying on with their life... but then, not everyone is disabled like I am... right? I can't go.. I can't answer the phone.. I can't return their calls... I just can't... not now? And I don't know when, if ever. These feelings feel like forever.

<font color="gray">[b] It took 45 minutes to travel 17 of the miles on the expressway today going to T... at one point the traffic stopped..and the road was shaking. Mind you this is FL (no quakes) I was triggered... not only how the house trembled with Wilma..but the place where I had been injured/disabled so many years ago... tears well up but of course I had to keep driving... which I hate ...and try to just fade out when on that road....

then, at T's office, they are building highrises next door... and the crane powered up (it's still lunch time, they aren't "supposed" to do this to me!) and I was right back at the site I was injured... and hurricanes both (Andrew and Wilma)... I ran the correct thoughts through my head (T checked) but... it doesn't take away the sensations... it only tells my mind that I'm not there but here... even though I WAS there... long ago long enough... too long?

<font color="#008800"> I know I only wondered if you could bear with me that weekend before the hurricane.. but it seems ... it's gonna be longer.