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lynn09 · Nov 03, 2010, 01:51 AM

Hi, Lexi232. Since at the ripe age of 60 I've just become aware of just how ADHD/ADD I am, I have apparently been coping without meds my entire life. I always wondered why I was soooo super-organized and always joked that it was out of self-defense - but it's the truth.

Everything has a place and everything stays in or is returned to its place after use because I can't stand wasting time searching for things when I need them now! I also have created spreadsheets to track all of my income and expenses with different things color-coded (basic accounts, such as rent, utilities, phone, etc.; groceries; charitable donations; discretionary spending; etc.); have created very detailed To-Do Lists, use my Yahoo calendar with automatic reminders, a very extensive and specific filing system, specific scheduling to get routine tasks done - I even put things like laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the litter box, etc., on my calendar with alarms and reminders so that no matter what else may be swirling around in my brain, my focus will be directed to these specific things and they will get done.

I know this all sounds very complicated and time-consuming, but I have found that pushing myself to keep these schedules and documents up to date and having them handy for quick reference really does help me to stay focused and on track so I'm not having to run through everything in my mind all of the time.

As for the unpleasant or overwhelming tasks, I schedule them, as well. I make To-Do List and calendar entries with reminders with all of the required information, including contact name, telephone number, e-mail address, etc., on a set day and time and the absolute latest time and date it can be done. If the scheduled day and time come and I'm simply not able to perform that task, I then reschedule it and the reminders and keep doing this.

The constant reminders about the task make me think about it more and more, and eventually I have a pretty clear concept of what I want to accomplish - then the task does not seem quite so overwhelming and I can eventually get it done. It's like forcing myself to have constant exposure to the subject task gradually desensitizes me to it until I reach a point where I can finally handle it. All of the seemingly complicated listing, tracking, scheduling, reminders, etc., actually has helped me to learn to focus, concentrate, and remember better - so the preparation for getting the task done is just as important as actually getting the task done!

There's also what I call the "ripping off the bandaid" approach to dealing with unpleasant and/or overwhelming tasks where I force myself to just get it done and over with so I don't have to think/worry about it anymore!!

As for the impulsivity, I have made up rules for myself - I do my best to NOT act on my first impulse regarding anything (shopping, speaking, whatever). If I see something I want to buy because I just cannot live without it, I force myself to wait at least 24 hours then take a look at it again - and I usually see it in a completely different light. I try to do the same thing with other impulses - if what I am feeling is valid, then it should still be valid a few hours or days or even months from now - rarely does any decision have to be made and acted upon this very moment, so train yourself to just walk away from it for a while and revisit it later.

On the whole, I have to break things down into little pieces and focus on dealing with each little piece one at a time so that I don't get totally overwhelmed by the "Mt. Everest" whole. And when my heart starts pounding and I get short of breath, dizzy, and feeling out-of-body, I turn around and walk away from whatever it is and refocus my attention on something else - step outside, look out the window for a moment, get a cup of tea, play with my cat - anything to break away from whatever is overwhelming me.

Like I said, I'm 60 y/o now and have been working around my ADHD/ADD for decades without knowing it - and I worked on corporate staff for several major corporations over the decades in extremely stressful and demanding positions where organizational skills were necessary for survival. This worked out very well for me because it was a very fast-paced, but structured and task-oriented environment with defined deadlines which helped to keep me from being bored, but also helped me learn to stay focused, and to develop the organizational, communication, and computer skills that have helped me deal with the ADHD/ADD to a great extent in my personal life, as well.

I hope you find something helpful in what I've said. I know how frustrating it is to ask someone to please explain to me the specific mechanics of dealing with something only to have them respond with, "Just deal with it." I can only conclude that they don't answer with specifics because they really don't know the specifics themselves. Go easy with yourself - be patient and view the real task as developing specific techniques and skills that work for you to help you accomplish the other tasks. Good luck! lynn09