I see nothing in this thread that is going to get it pulled. You're doing great. you explained you had thoughts but didn't go into details of graphic actions. You are just asking for help in managing those thoughts. There is nothing wrong with that. Hang in there. Those thoughts will pass. Keep busy - draw write talk whatever you can that will diffuse the thoughts and call your therapist so he knows the thoughts are starting to come up, and if they get stronger call him again and the hotline. Im rooting for you.