Hi to all and thank you I need to clear some things up cause this is taking a wrong turn..I don't wanna see that

First I did post my post WITH the trigger Icon..I even asked a moderator the day before to make sure which one trigger really was..If I triggered anyone I am sorry but I DID post it with the icon as NOT to trigger you

Second I am in NO way thinking of suicide ..at all ..no plans

I have yes in my life had it cross my mind and if I did lose it I know what to do to do it...but that is NOT something I would do

I stated seeing T is a luxury or seems like it being I am trying to make the BEST use of my funds that I can..its like hmm pay the phone or see T kinda thing..I am worth both

BUT WHAT FREAKS ME OUT IS as I stated in my original post..I have been having a GOOD week .....I was walking to the car and its like I **kinda woke up to thinking a thought that wasnt mine**..like I didnt own it but I KNEW because I am a rational person...that it WAS *my*
thought....It's LIKE I WOKE UP to my own plan MID plan....THEN I was like wow..shot it out of my head and went got some food, walked the dog..played with him raked leaves etc....Is that maybe more clear? I really would and need some help with this and not on suicide cause I have no issues with it...its that weird deal that creeps me

Thanks